I wish I had an evil twin
running ’round doing people in
I wish I had a very bad
and evil twin to do my will
to cull and conquer, cut and kill
just like I would
if I weren’t good
and if I knew where to begin

down and down we go
how low no one would know
sometimes the good life wears thin
I wish I had an evil twin

my evil twin would lie and steal
and he would stink of sex appeal
all men would writhe
beneath his scythe
he’d send the pretty ones to me
and they would think that I was he
I’d hurt them and I’d go scot free

I’d get no blame and feel no shame
’cause evil’s not my cup of tea

down and down we go
how low one would not need to know
all my life there should have been
an evil twin